STAR WARS GANGSTA CAMP
by MegamiofMeiun
Summary: BLEEP OUT NAME HATORI AND BLEEP OUT NAME SOME OTHER PERSON TOHRU GO TO STARWARS GANGSTA CAMP! Yep. The second in the Sohmas go to camp series. Pure comedy strait from my insane mind -- I'm working on an update guys. Sorry for delaying.
1. But I Don't Know What a Gangsta Is!

BLEEP OUT NAME (HATORI) AND BLEEP OUT NAME (SOME OTHER PERSON TOHRU) GO TO STARWARS GANGSTA CAMP!! (BUM BUM BUM!!)

A/N: Wow...what has it been...two years? Maybe only one. Well, as you can see, I'm posting all the old and adding in some new. I really hope you guys like the new stuff and that you'll continue to read even though I dropped off the face of the Earth for a while. And for those who are wondering, yes, I am MyMindIsMyDarkSanctuary. I just wanted to start all over so I made a new account.

Disclaimer: I own…

Risa: Don't say Kyo!

Me: But I do!! You see, I have a cute little orange cat that I named Kyo. Anyways, I was going to say I own nothing.

Risa: Oops…

Me:Yeah. So, The idea of Star Wars Gangsta Camp came from listening to the Star Wars Gangsta Rap a ton of times…so…I owe the peeps who own the rap. Also, I don't own "God Must Hate Me". That song belongs to Simple Plan. So, let's begin.

Emma: Not without me you don't!

Risa: It all happened in that one place that everything in the Fruits Basket world happens!

Me: HEY!! THIS IS MY FIC!! Anyways, it all happened in a place not so far away because it all exist in my mind which is conveniently located in my head which is conveniently located attached to my neck…

Emma: What mind?

Me: NARUTO!!

Naruto: DIE EVIL LADY THAT OFFENDED AYUMI!!

Me: HA HA HA!!

Risa: How are you controlling him?!

Me: HIEI (scary music plays) isn't the only one with a Jagan eye!! (lifts ninja headband to show nothing.)

Emma: Yeah he is.

Me: SHUT UP OR I'LL BE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING EVIL!!

Emma & Risa: EEP!!

Me: Thank you! So…

--

Hatori sat in his car, Kyo, Yuki, Haru, Tohru, and Momiji in the car also.

"So, so I won this thing that plays music that matches how you're feeling at the moment that you touch it!!" Momiji said excitedly, pointing to the machine on the dashboard

"That's nice…but I need to concentrate on the road. We have to find the street that leads to band camp." Hatori said.

"Ha! You're going to band camp!" Haru laughed.

"Don't laugh. Akito thought it would be best if you all went to some sort of camp, so you and Yuki are going to dance camp." Hatori said.

"WHAT?!" Yuki and Haru exploded.

"HA HA HA!! THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN BAND CAMP!!" Kyo had tears of mirth streaming down his face.

"Yeah!! But I know a secret!!" Momiji cried out, trying to get attention.

"Not now Momiji." Yuki sulked.

"But I heard Shigure laughing maniacally and-"

"Now it's important!! What did you hear Momi!?"

"Well, he signed Hatori and Tohru up for…" He paused to add drama.

"SPEAK DARN YOU!!" Kyo shouted.

"STAR WARS GANGSTA CAMP!!"

Hatori hit the brakes and his hand slammed onto the little machine sitting on the dashboard in shock.

_"God must hate me  
He cursed me for eternity  
God must hate me  
Maybe you should pray for me  
I'm breaking down and you can't save me  
I'm stuck in hell  
And I wanna go home"_

"Wow, Hatori! You seem really upset!" Momiji said. Hatori's eyes were large and blank. His hand didn't move from the little machine.

_"So what in the world am I supposed to do?  
I never did anything to you  
So can't you find something else to do?_

_God Must hate me  
He cursed me for eternity  
God Must hate me  
Maybe you should pray for me  
I'm breaking down and you can't save me  
I'm stuck in hell and  
I wanna go home  
(God must hate me)  
I wanna go home  
(God must hate me)  
I wanna go home  
(God must hate me)  
I wanna go home  
(God must hate me)  
I wanna go home  
(God must hate me)  
You can't save me  
God Must hate me now"_

"Yeah. I think Hatori's upset." Haru said.

"He. Did. WHAT?!" Hatori shouted.

"Um…I'm seriously thinking about jumping out of this car."

"Kyo…it's not moving…" Momiji said quietly.

"I know that!" Kyo yelled.

"Then why would you jump?"

"Because that would be more fun." Momiji sweat dropped.

"Kyo, who supplies you with the crack you've been smoking?" Hatsuharu asked.

"Uotani. Who else?" Kyo replied.

"I wonder if she'll sell me some…" Haru said to himself as he began counting the money in his pocket.

Kyo's eyes widened. He had been joking completely…Haru wasn't…

"Um…what's a… 'gangsta'?" Tohru asked. They had all forgotten about her.

"Uo." Kyo said.

Tohru's brow furrowed in concentration. "I don't get it…"

"I thought you always say Uo is a yankee." Haru said.

"She's a Gangsta/yankee, oh, and Tohru, it's Gangsta, not gangsta." Kyo said.

"How do you know so much about gangstas, idiot cat?" Yuki asked.

Kyo laughed evilly. "School project."

For some reason, no one in the car believed him.

"I. Will. Kill. SHIGURE!!" Hatori shouted.

"Hatori, aren't doctors supposed to help people, not kill them?" Haru asked.

"Shigure isn't a person; he's an abomination!" Hatori was shaking with anger.

"Akito already said you can't kill him. At least, that's what I heard Shigure say he said." Momi said.

"Who was Shigure even talking to?"

"Ayame."

"Go figure."

"Well, I know just the way to torture Shigure to the fullest…" Hatori had an unusually evil gleam in his eyes.

All except Tohru leaned towards him eagerly.

"Gentleman Camp."

Everyone except Tohru grinned evilly (imagine Momi grinning evilly. He'd probably still look like an adorable teddy bear!) as they laughed maniacally.

"Um…I still don't know what a g… I mean, Gangsta is…" Tohru said as the car began moving again.

--

A/N: REVIEW!! Yeah…this could kinda be considered a intro to the actual story. Please review or I'll send Hatori to Gangsta on ya and Naruto will go Ninja Gangsta on you!

NARUTO: BELIEVE IT!!

ME: AYUMI OUT!


	2. But I Still Don't Know What a Gangsta Is

A/N: I'm so happy that you people like my story!! This chapter promises to be as funny as the last…I don't think the chapter is very smart though so I wouldn't trust it. Hey, I tell ya what, I'll have a little contest thingy for you. The first person to find the actual lyrics to the STAR WARS GANGSTA RAP (BUM BUM BUM That's always gonna be capitalized like that in this fic) especially what Yoda says, will get to be part of the pre chapter thingy that I always put in here…so…yeah…good luck.

Risa: Hey, Ayu, why do people say "chappie"??

Me: Um, well, I have no clue. I just picked it up from them…

Risa: Oh.

Emma: Hey!! Why don't I get to talk very much in your fic?!

Me: We got Deathstar!

Naruto: Deathstar!

Emma: Hey, listen to me!!

Me: I'm blowin! I know I'm on probation. I cleaned the droids can I go to the Haji station?

Emma: STOP IT!!

Risa: She cannot hear you annoying one.

Emma: WHY NOT?!

Me: Headphonesme go def…dawg

Naruto: Yeah, dawg.

Risa: Aren't you gonna yell at him?

Me: Nah. That's only in reviews, dawg. Get with teh times! The N dog and I are the Gangsta item of the century, yo.

Naruto: Fo Sho, A dawg.

Me: You best believe it, N dawg.

Emma: You sound so stupid, you know.

Me: Shut your mouth or I'll beat you dawg!

Risa: Don't you mean E dawg?

Me: Nah. You and Emma don't deserve letters in front of your dawgs.

Emma: ok then…question, what is an "item"?

Naruto: BLONDE ALERT!! BLONDE ALERT!! Take cover A dawg!

Me: An item is a couple little miss blonde know nothing dawg…JA EEZE!

Naruto: JA EEZE!!

Me: Oh, and for those readers who are wondering why Naruto is appearing in a Furuba fic, it's because of We're Trapped WHERE?! Which is my other favorite fic that I'm writing.

Naruto: FO SH- Hey, wait, that still doesn't tell them why I'm in this fic.

Me: Yah. I kno. I really don't have a reason. Just felt like doing it.

Naruto: Oh. FO SHO A DAWG!!

Me: Yeah. Let's hope Hatori can be as Gangsta as me.

Risa: You are so not Gangsta…

Emma: You're just weird.

Naruto: Don't be insultin' the A dawg you playa hata!

Me: The dawg on a leash, yo!

Emma:…bow wow…

Risa: You sound so weird.

Me: Blame teh boredom, yo.

Naruto: Fo Sho.

Risa: Just start the chapter.

Me: This is teh second chapter of GANGSTA CAMP, Yo!!

Naruto: FO SHO!!

--

"A Gangsta is someone who goes around and graffities walls –cough- Kyo -cough-, and destroys things, and steals people's money, and-" Yuki began ranting.

"Hey now! That's not entirely true. Just because some Gangstas are like that, doesn't mean that all of them are. Actual a lot of Gangstas are just rappers." Haru explained.

"So, they wrap candy?" Tohru asked.

"No! RAPPERS! As in rap music." Kyo said with a roll of his eyes.

"You can wrap music?" Tohru looked very confused (big surprise there).

"NO!! IT'S- WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!" Kyo yelled in frustration..

"Because." Haru said.

"That's not a good enough reason darnit!!"

"That's all I had." Haru said shrugging.

"I can't believe this is happening. This isn't happening. I'll wake up any minute now and discover that Shigure spiked my food. Yeah. That's what will happen." Hatori tried to assure himself.

"You're not asleep, Hatori. Face it. We've all died and gone to hell. That's what happened." Yuki said dejectedly.

"Gad really must hate me." Hatori said, shaking his head in misery.

"Yeah. Maybe Akito does." Haru said with a sigh

"Not funny." Hatori reprimanded.

"I thought it was." Haru said.

"Well, Harii didn't and he's the adult so what he says counts!" Momi declared.

"Suck up." Kyo mumbled.

Momiji stuck his tongue out at Kyo.

"We're here." Hatori said, irritated as he stopped in front of a place with a big sign that read, _BAND CAMP. _

Kyo took in a deep breath and got out of the car, leaving Yuki and Haru laughing and yelling immature things like "Have fun, band geek!" at him.

"You should stop laughing. Your stop is next." Hatori said, causing the two boys to go pale.

"We are going…" Yuki began.

"To die." Haru finished.

The two boys looked at eachother in fear.

"Um…Hatori…?"

"Not now Tohru. I'm driving."

"But…I still don't know what a Gangsta is!"

--

Me: Well, that's the end of that.

Risa: Good God.

Me: See Ya, dawgs! AYUMI OUT!

Naruto: NARUTO OUT!

Both: GANGSTA YO!!

Me: Oh, and yes, I do realize that I suck at being a Gangsta, yo! Just deal with it.


	3. Dark Side Queen

Me: Sup ma Gangsta Homies?!

Risa: Would you stop that already!!

Naruto: Chill Dawg. The A Dawg is just trying to keep it real! Y ya gotta be a playa hata!

Emma: Really you guys, stop.

Me: Ya know wa:

Naruto: Not gonna happen!!

Me: Fo Sho, N Dawg.

Emma: Can I kill her? Please?!

Me: YA KNOW WHA?

Naruto: No. Wha?

Me: I got a review sayin' tha this is all crap and Tohru isn't stupid! Well, one, this is meant to be crap. This is one of my crap go crappy stories.

Risa: What?!

Naruto: What, are you a blonde now too. Instead of happy go lucky she said crap go crappy, Dawg.

Me: And two, um…yeah…Tohru is pretty stupid…

Naruto: Fo Sho, A Dawg.

Risa: Yeah. I agree. What about you, Em?

Emma: Oh, Erik!! I love you so completely that it's scary!! I mean, just because you're older than my dad doesn't mean we can't be together!!

Me: Um…

Naruto: O.O

Risa: I LOVE YOU TOO ERIK!!

Naruto/ Ayumi: O.O

Ayumi: Ok…um…here's a list of how I feel about Tohru…

Why I Think Tohru's Cool

She's trying to break the Sohma curse

She's really sweet to all the Sohmas except Akito

Why I **HATE** Tohru

She gives brunettes a bad name which causes Risa to call me one

She's completely blind to Yuki and Kyo's affections

She didn't say "Oh, it's ok Kyo! I love you even when you are a monster!!" (I would have said that! He's awesome!!)

She makes leeks even though she knows Kyo hates them

Kyo's completely and totally in love with her (Which means he doesn't love me!!Lol.)

She reminds me of Emma

She reminds me of Emma

She reminds me of Emma

She reminds me of Emma

She reminds me of Emma

She reminds me of Emma

Me: Yep. There's my list.

Risa: Ha ha ha!! She reminds you of Emma!

-five minutes later-

Emma: Hey!! I'M NOT LIKE TOHRU!!

Me: Um…yeah…you are… That conversation ended five minutes ago…

Naruto: JA EEZE! Get wit teh times!

Me: Ok. Let's start teh stori.

Risa: You misspelled that.

Me: WT... … … … … I just remembered; I can't say that on live television….

Risa: You can't say what?

Naruto: The letter F.

Risa: Ok then…well, you still misspelled that…and we're not on live television…

Me: Or are we…

Emma: ARE WE?!

Me: No. And boo hoo! I wanted to spell it that way!!

Risa: -sticks out tongue-

Me: -glares evilly-

Risa: EEP!!

Naruto: Anyways….

Me: Um…yeah…um, reviewer, please don't think that I'm like totally getting mad about that review or anything…I'm actually trying to handle the review with the best sense of humor I can…So…I'm sorry…I'm not trying to offend you…so…yeah…on with the story!

--

Hatori sighed as everyone on the bus except he and Tohru were singing some song that had to do with whatever camp they were going to.

"HE WILL JOIN US OR DIE!!"

Hatori rubbed his temples. He was in the solo back seat of the bus, Tohru in the seat in front of him. A girl with long blondish brown hair walked onto the bus and sat beside Tohru.

"Sup ppls? You guys pumped?"

"Um…huh?" Tohru asked her timidly.

"You know. Hyped up? Ready and rearin?" The girl said.

"Um…what does that mean…"

"ARE YOU UNDER THE INFULENCE?!" A guy on the bus yelled.

"DARK SIDE!!" All the other kids yelled.

"IS THE FORCE CHOKE YOUR BEST FRIEND?!" Another guy yelled.

"DARK SIDE!!"

"DO YOU WEAR ALL BLACK WHILE YOUR LIGHTSABER'S RED?!" A girl yelled.

"DARK SIDE!!"

"STOP THE RAP!!" A girl yelled. She stormed towards Hatori in rage.

"Ooh…" Several kids said, looking at Hatori sadly, as if this were his last moment to live.

"That's my seat, punk!" The girls said.

She had long black hair and blue eyes that seemed to cut through you like a blade.

"Aw…give 'im a break, Ayu. He's new." The girl who sat with Tohru said.

"Ah. Well, then, we'll explain the rules to him. But only once. Thank you, Risa." The girl with black hair said.

"Rule 1: I always sit in that seat. Penalty:"

"FORCE CHOKE!!" The other kids yelled.

"Rule 2: I'm in charge. It's my way, or you'll find yourself stranded in a black hole. Rule 3: If you mess with my minion," At this point she gestured towards the girl sitting with Tohru. "you have to deal with me. Got that?"

"YES MAM!!" The rest of the bus yelled.

"Now, get out of my seat."

"I'm a grown adult. I'm here, because I have to be. I'm not going to succumb to your childish bullying wills." Hatori said firmly.

"Hey, the new guy's challenging Ayu!"

"Ooh…he's dead…"

Hatori watched as the girl took a sharp intake of air, and glared.

"Do you seriously think you can do something about it?" Hatori asked condescendingly.

"I warned you." The girl lifted her hand into the air, and closed it as if closing it around his throat. As she did, his air supply was cut off.

She lifted him into the air and threw him to the floor. She then sat in the seat, crossing her arms over her chest in a cocky manner.

"DARTH ELFIOUS!!" Risa yelled.

"What?"

"Just…trying it out…"

"Um…hm…"

"How about…DARTH AUTHORESS!"

"Better…but…"

"DARTH DATENSHI!"

"I…don't know…Hey, Xan, what do you think? Darth Authoress or Darth Datenshi?"

"Darth Datenshi, ma Gangsta bio-" A boy started to yell.

"Finish that sentence and I'll castrate you."

Hatori climbed into another seat, this time he was next to a blonde.

"Who is she?!" He asked, more than a little upset.

"That's Ayumi. She's an add on." The girl said.

"An add on?"

"Yeah. There are only a few add ons and she's one of them. Add ons are characters who aren't part of the original Gangsta rap, but are added in. You see, we don't stick straight to the rap. We also add in our own stuff. I'm Emma, by the way."

"Hatori. So, she's special?"

"Heck yes. She's the Dark Side's best add on. Risa over there is her evil minion, so she got the role of an add on too. All the Dark Side boys love them. Their the little Dark Side Queens." Emma said bitterly.

"What about you?" Hatori asked.

"I'm a Light Side add on. I'm just a little below them. Only, on the Light Side."

"Light Side, Dark Side, what the heck?!" Hatori growled in frustration.

"You don't know anything about the STAR WARS GANGSTA RAP do you?"

"No."

"Thought as much. The Dark Side, or the Sith, are evil. The Light Side is good. Both use the Force for different reasons. The Dark Side, for their own evil ambitions. The Light Side, to help people."

"I see."

"Now, you'll probably wind up being a jedi, or a soldier, because you seem more like a Light Side guy to me. A jedi can use the force, and fight with lightsabers, whereas soldiers just use blaster rifles."

"Dear God this is complicated."

"Yeah. I know."

"So, what about Tohru?"

"Oh, you mean the girl next to Risa? It's too late for her. They've already Force persuaded her to the Dark Side. Only someone with strong Force persuade could save her now." Emma said sadly.

"So…Tohru's…"

"She's one of them."

"Oh dear God, what the heck am I gonna do?!"

--

Me: Yep.

Naruto: Yep.

Emma: YAY!! I'M IN THE STORY!!

Risa: -Cackles evilly-

Emma: Eep! What's so funny?

Me/ Risa: Nothin'.

Emma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! REVIEW BEFORE THEY KILL ME!!


	4. OMG THE SPORKS ARE COMING

Me: Hello again, faithful reviewers. I have to tell you all that I am no longer able to post these

myself so my friend Jade post these for me. So, here's the new Chappie, and I love you guys man!

Naruto: JADE ROCKS!!

Me: Yep. We're at her house right now. Em and I. So, we sit here together writing this.

Emma: If you're mean to me again, heh heh heh, Shinobi shampoo for cats, now with added tick remover.

Me: STOP JOKING ABOUT THE TICK!! I'M STILL PARANOID!!

Emma: I know. That's why I said it. I know it was a deer tick that almost injected it's little head into your bloodstream and give you lime disease, but, seriously, I mean, you were almost in tears.

Me: Having a deer tick try to kill you in the middle of the night is a truly terrifying thing! It's not like I can just destroy it with my evil powers! They don't obey the laws of Ayumi world!

Jade: You do realize, I hate all of you! You kept me up til three in the morning because of a stupid tick!

Me: cries It was scary.

Naruto: Um…do you … need me to comfort you?

Me: Naruto, you've been replaced by Goku from Saiyuki.

Naruto: But…but… Goku can't be a gangsta, can he?

Me: Ahem. Goku.

Goku: Back off my home girl, yo!! Ayu, can I have food?

Emma: Oooh! Me too! I want a chili dog!

Me: Um…Goku yes, Emma, no.

Emma: Sneaks up behind Ayumi and runs finger up and down the back of her neck OMG!! AYU, IT'S A TICK!!

Me: Screams and cries like a little baby, running into Goku's open arms DON'T LET IT KILL ME!! I DON'T WANT LIME DISEASE!!

Emma: Omg. I actually have power. This is a truly good feeling.

Me: (Ok, so, we kinda played hide and seek tag and I hid in the bushes and got a deer tick, and it bit me, and then it was sucking my blood, and Emma kept making a big deal out of it by going, "Ayu, just breathe, and while you're breathing, sign this will that says I get to inherit everything of yours". And then, it tried to inject it's head into my bloodstreaM AND GIVE ME BLOOD DISEASE AND KILL ME!! And then Jade's daddy dumped rubbing alchohol on it and we dumped the tick down the toilet. And thus, I have survived. Although I'm quite cold.) I DON'T WANNA DIE!!

Goku: Honey, there's no tick.

Me: Glares Hey Goku, let's have strawberry shortcake!

Emma: Me too!

Me: Never!

Emma: Goes into a corner and sobs

Me: Anyways, on with teh Gangsta story!

--

"So, what was all that about light side and dark side?" Hatori asked.

"You weren't listening at all, were you?" Emma said with a sigh.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking?"

"FINE! SEE IF I EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!"

About three minutes of silence passed before she turned to look at him again.

"Um…who are you? Why are you sitting next to me. You're hot. Has anyone told you that."

"I'm 27."

"And looking good! Hey, there's only a…" She stopped to count on her fingers. "…twelve years difference. We can make it work out."

Hatori looked at her sternly. " Oh can we now?"

"If you try I will." She winked at him seductively and tried to run a hand up his thigh.

He grabbed her hand, his face red, completely and utterly shocked.

"Well, well, well, goody goody goes bad."

"Jeez Tohru, I didn't think you were up to mocking others yet." Risa said quietly.

"Shut up or I'll castrate you with a spork!" Tohru glared.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! THE SPORKS ARE COMING!! THE SPORKS ARE COMING!! RUN AWAY!!"

--

Me: HE KNOWS IT WORD FOR WORD!! I DON'T THINK HE'S CUTE ANYMORE!!

Emma: So what if he's quoting caveman stuff. Ah well. He's mine now.

Me: You take the hot rock star nerd! You take him and you run!

Emma: Ok. You know what I think?

Me: Um….Dur?

Emma: CLOSE! But no. I think it's time for, (rock star nerd quotes caveman dude and asks for inferno sauce) SHINOBI SHAMPOO, FOR CAVEMEN AND CATS!!

Me: NOOO!! Oh, and readers just so you know, we're watching Instant Star. And they just started fighting like nerdy cavemen.

Emma: I know. It was sexy.

Me: I'm…highly disturbed. Back to the story.

--

Emma buried her head in Hatori's chest, her arms conveniently wrapped around his waist, one hand on his back, and the other…down lower.

"Save me please!! Don't let them get me! Oh wow, you have a nice bum. And I conveniently have a bottle of chloroform in my back pocket if you would kindly pull it out for me."

Ayumi laughed wickedly. "I kinda happened to drug her."

"Thanks ever so much! I kinda happened to throw a deer tick at you." Hatori grinned.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH –BREATH- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH –BREATHES PANICKEDLY- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DON'T LET IT KILL ME, PLEASE!!" That's what Ayumi would have said, if she hadn't evilly fainted. But she kinda did. Oh well.

And at that moment, Hatori figured Emma's one weakness.

"You dropped your pocket."

"WHERE? POCKET!! POCKET? WHERE ARE YOU?! HATORI WHAT HAPPENS TO POCKETS WHEN THEY DIE?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"Awwww….will Mr. Pocket be ok?"

"No." Ayumi had woken up and realized there was no tick and was now, excuse the pun, ticked. "Y'see his soul will eternally be devoured by leprechauns from the place of fire."

"I like fire! See, I got my lighter."

"Where do these things come from!?" Hatori demanded.

"Mr. Pocket. He gives me lotses of stuff. He's really nice. That's why I gotses to find him."

"This fire isn't cool."

"Is too!"

"Nu uh. Cuz it's invisible."

Emma began sobbing like a baby. Then she looked up. "Is the invisible fire hot? Does it buuuuurn you?" She asked dementedly.

"No. It's like an open closet."

"NOOOOOOO!! MR. POCKET!!"

Hatori sighed, and stuck his hand in her back pocket. "Oh look…I found him." He said through gritted teeth.

--

Me: I think I'll end it off there. We had even better ideas, but they involved death, and the bubonic plague, and influenza, and a note from Mr. Pocket giving Emma the talk, and Risa mysteriously becoming a fat lard, and rockstar cavemen.

Emma: What good ideas they were.

Me: No they weren't. Except the note. That was kinda funny. Kinda.

Emma: What note.

Me: The one giving you the talk about not eating away your depression.

Emma: Oh. That note.

Me: Yeah. That note. Well, I'm going to make Goku read and memorize the myspace perfect boyfriend chart. Buh bye!

Hey Em here. Shh… Ayu doesn't know that I'm writing this note on her fic, so won't she be surprised when she sees it! Okay… no she won't. She's reading over my shoulder. I just wanted to say that I'm not really this dopy in real life. I'm actually quite smart. Okay, granted I'm failing Biology class… but that doesn't count! Our teacher is evil! And not Ayumi evil. Teacher evil… which is possibly the worst of all evils. Anyhoo… ya. I have nothing left to say… OMG! DEER TICK!

Ayu: OMG! WHERE!?

Me: Haha… I can't wait to do that at school. Review Ayu's story! Thanks!


	5. Initiation

A/N: OH MY JONAS!! (Yes, I am indeed a Jonas Brother fan. Get over it if you're a hater.) I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING!! IT'S A MIRACLE!! Heh. I hope you'll all still read and everything. And I hope my writing still satisfies. As much fun as writing the drabble up top is, I am no longer going to make it longer than the actual story. So, here it is; the conclusion of the madness.

Ayu: Well, I am afraid I can no longer hate Tohru.

Risa: WHAT?! WHY?!

Ayu: Because I'm changing into a gulp _good person_.

Emma: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ayu: Well, not completely, but it's enough. The last, what, year or two have given me time to grow up and I've come to realize that my incessant hatred of all things pure is just...well...stupid. Y'know?

Risa: I-I-I feel like I don't even know you anymore!

Em: Ayu, WHY?! Sobs

Ayu: I'm sorry. But, Goku, you still love me right?

Goku: Duh! You cook good food!

Ayu: Alright, well, here goes. **Last time on Star Wars Gangsta Camp:**

_"I'm pregnant, and you're the father!"_

_"Noo! You can't leave me! Please! I need you!"_

_"You skank! How dare you sleep with my brother!?"_

_"Don't go meet that guy from the internet! He'll rape you!"_

Ayu: Oops...sorry...that was from Degrassi.

Goku: What's that?

Ayu: You don't want to know. Ok. Here. On with the story.

"Oh, wow Hatori, thanks." Emma grinned up at the 27 year old doctor who wanted nothing more than to slam her into the window and beat her brains out. However, Hatori took a deep breath and forced himself to take control of his recently emerging violent urges.

"Ooh...do I sense a developing pairing?" Risa asked.

"No, Risa. That's obviously not the pairing. The authoress is testing her capabilities and is there for using a pairing that she never really imagined before this fic. (A/N: Due to popular request, this fic will be HatorixTohru. You better love me, ppl!)" Ayumi sighed while rolling her eyes.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Tohru mocked.

"Tohru, you have quite a bit of potential." Ayu smirked. "We can get you an add on roll if you prove to be good enough."

Tohru smirked wickedly, causing Hatori to become even more uneasy than before. "I can't wait."

"You love her, don't you?" Emma sighed wistfully.

"WHAT?!" Hatori demanded. He had never even considered Tohru in that way!

"Well, the only way to save her is to become an add on Jedi Master." Emma told him. "I'll teach you the ropes as best I can." She nodded to herself. "For love."

"But-" Hatori shut his mouth and sighed. Reasoning with these people was about as useful as telling Momiji not to eat too much candy because it was bad for him.

_'Why? Why this? Why me?'_ Hatori's head throbbed and he had a feeling that this entire ordeal would be one neverending headache.

"For love!" Emma nodded once more. She then looked out the window. "THERE IT IS!!" She pointed to a huge building in the middle of no where.

There was a loud cheer as everyone flocked towards the window to gaze at the place that was to be their home for quite some time. The bus began to slow and everyone stayed seated but Ayumi, who stood and made her way down the isle. "Clarissa, Tohru, follow!" The two other girls stood and followed after the shorter girl. After Ayumi and the other two had left everyone else began filing off the bus.

As they made their way out of the bus, Hatori considered his feelings for Tohru. He didn't feel...he couldn't...it would be wrong...right?

"Alright, any new additions come this way please!" A man called. Hatori headed over to him along with a few kids and Tohru. God...he hated his life...

And Shigure. He definitely hated Shigure.

"Alright now, you're going to endure a series of tests that will determine where you belong." The man said to them. "Some of you will go through more tests than others. First up...you. The adult."

The adult? Was he going to eternally be referred to as "The Adult"?! Hatori sighed and stepped forwards.

"What is your name?" The man asked.

"Hatori Sohma." Hatori answered.

"Well Hatori, your first task is to attempt at using the force. I want you to try to use the force to pull that stick to you." The man pointed to a stick, and, with a sigh, Hatori stuck out his hand and will the stick to come to him. Within a second, the stick was gripped firmly in his hand.

"G-G-Amazing!" The man said, clapping. "Now, I want you to take this lightsaber and activate it. Your side will be determined by the color." Hatori complied once more and when the lightsaber turned on it was a deep blue.

"You will be a Light Side Jedi add on. Please, prove your worth and do not make us demote you from your status." The man nodded and motioned for Hatori to go over and stand by Emma.

"Amazing!" Emma breathed as he drew close. "That's almost as good as Ayumi did! Maybe...maybe you'll be able to stop her!"

For Tohru.

But why?

* * *

A/N: There it is, people. Ok, so, here's the deal, I need some more add ons. So, if you'd like to be an add on -for either side- just tell me

1. Your name  
2. Your Side  
3. Your position  
4. Physical qualities  
5. Personality traits  
6. Anything else you find important

And please, you all know how I love reviews! Thanks for reading and everything!!


	6. Meeting Cyh

A/N: Sorry for the long time it's taken me to update. My computer has gone haywire...again... :(. BUT, I'M BACK! WHEEEE!! Oh, and I'm so excited! Not only have I gotten more characters than I expected, but MY FANFICTION HERO, Cyh Scaevola, WANTS TO BE IN MY FIC!! YAY!! So, here we go.

* * *

Ayu: _Guess who's back, back again. Ayu's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back._

Risa: That's it; no more listening to Slim Shady for you.

Ayu: FINE! _You get the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds!_

Emma: AHHH!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Ayu: Don't be mean. I'll force choke you in the face!

Risa: Meh!

Ayu: Whatevs mah Gangsta Homies. On wit teh show, Dawg!

* * *

Hatori sighed as he watched the groups of people go through their tests. So far there was only one other light side addition, a girl named Yasako Kisatan. Otherwise there were two other dark side girls; Sakomi and Minami. Ayumi had seemed pleased when she saw that they had joined her side.

"Man. Looks like the Dark Side might outweigh us this year." Emma said sadly. How did these people take it so darn seriously?!

He found himself shaking his head at the idiocy of this entire process. He would most definitely be killing Shigure after this.

"EVIL MISTRESS!" Hatori looked up in time to see Ayumi fall to her knees in a deep bow.

"What the-"

"That's Cyh, she's the Dark Side's psychiatrist and Ayumi's idol."

"Ayumi. Always a pleasure." Cyh smiled down at the crouching Dark Side Queen.

"T-thank you, milady!" Ayumi's voice shook with her excitement and Hatori frowned.

"She looks up to that girl?"

"Looks are decieving. Cyh's pretty messed up." Emma told him. "She can get inside your head, make you see things that aren't there; make you believe things that aren't true. She's also the one who trained Ayumi."

"I see." Hatori shook his head. This was positively insane. Nothing here made any sense. Not at all. It was enough to make a grown man cry.

"Rumor is that Ayu might get promoted this year. If Vader dies like everyone thinks he's going to." Emma added. "Then again, she told me that herself. She's really excited about this year."

"How would you know all of this about your enemy?" Hatori finally asked.

Emma blinked at him. "Oh. Ayu and I are best friends. Practically sisters." She said, showing him a picture of the two girls with an arm around each other's shoulder and wide smiles on their face. "Or, at least, outside of camp we are."

Absolute madness.

Shigure was certainly dying after all of this!

"Um, hi. Can I, uh, stand with you guys?" It was the new light side girl, Yasako.

"Yeah." Emma smiled. "Welcome!"

Hatori ignored the girl and tried to focus on finding a way to save Tohru.

"You can't." Hatori snapped his head towards Cyh who was smirking. "You can't save her. She's in Ayu's grasps now."

Shigure was certainly going to die.

* * *

Ayu: Well, that's all folks! I'm sorry I haven't updated. I can only get on the internet every thursday. I will do my best though!


End file.
